Ever since brainy beauty and ex-English student Luce sensibly nuded-up on the sands in Bournemouth in 2003 - to be fatefully clocked by an eagle-eyed snapper secreted in nearby dunes by the Daily Star, no less - all hopes of a clothing-burdened future in fusty academia were lost to the Winchester wonder. Thank the lord.

Now barely a day passes without dewy-eyed glamour gazers being privy to the joys of eyeballing a clobber-free Pinder, spot-welded in snap heaven with similarly unleashed eyefuls such as bosom buddies Michelle Marsh, Anna Taverner, Emily Oldfield, Natasha Mealey and Natasha Marley.

With the likes of Jordan donning the jodphurs and going all Katie Price-country-set on us, sexed-to-the-max Lucy is an all-new and exciting tabloid queen of the uberboobs.

As one wide-eyed wag at Loaded mag recently gasped: "They're so big that boys actually concentrate on not looking at them."

Yes, you're absolutely right. Lucy has lovely eyes. Enjoy, lady-likers.